đź’°
Lobbying & Political Manipulation
"Lobbying & Political Manipulation ensures that democracy works for us, not you. We write the legislation, fund the campaigns, and then sit back as 'elected' officials do exactly what we tell them. Your vote counts about as much as our campaign contributions—which is to say, significantly less."
Proud Accomplishments
- â–¸Written legislation that benefits only large corporations, passed by 'representatives' we own
- â–¸Created dark money Super PACs that launder corporate funds into political campaigns
- â–¸Opposed every piece of consumer, worker, or environmental protection legislation
- â–¸Gerrymandered districts to ensure our preferred candidates always win
Performance Metrics
Lobbyists Employed1,400+
Politicians Owned500+
Bills Written3,200+
Taxpayer $ Captured$4.7T
This division is a registered subsidiary of Hell Holdings, LLC. All profits flow upward. All suffering flows downward. This is just how the free market was optimized.